


Five People Who Did Not Kill Llwellyn Bonham

by Niki



Category: NCIS
Genre: Canon Morality, Gen, Gen Fic WTF?, I swear I'm not drunk, Team Mates Trusting Each Other, Trope Bingo Round 7, chosen families
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7957870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niki/pseuds/Niki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>I swear, one day I will murder that bastard.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five People Who Did Not Kill Llwellyn Bonham

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to go on record to say this is all Neith's fault.
> 
> For my Trope Bingo square "chosen families"... it made perfect sense to us.
> 
> I may or may not have written this whole thing in about thirty minutes. It might or might not show. Beta by Neith. Ish.

“I swear, one day I will murder that bastard,” Tony muttered, looking at the retreating back of Dorky McDorkface – also known as Llwellyn Bonham – a lawyer working on a case presumably with them, but undermining their work at every opportunity and pissing off Gibbs worse and worse every day.

“We'll gladly help you get rid of the body,” Abby promised, poking Jimmy on the side until he nodded eagerly.

“Just say the word,” Jimmy promised.

Tim looked at them, sighed, and said. “I'll be your alibi.”

At that moment Gibbs came back from making sure the man actually left the floor. 

“They will never find the body,” he muttered, and everyone laughed. 

And that was that, a little letting off of steam with the family. No one gave it another thought after they left from work.

Not until Llwellyn Bonham was found dead the following morning.

1\. 

Jimmy looked at the body on the slab with quiet horror. He'd thought they were joking! Was he actually supposed to help cover this? How was he going to hide the bullet holes in the back! They should have given him some advance warning!

Doctor Mallard was on his way – was he in on it? Was he supposed to hide this from his boss as well? How the hell was he supposed to do _that_? Oh God, he was going to have to do this, wasn't he? He'd promised. He hadn't realised it was an actual promise but hell, there wasn't much he wouldn't do for this team – his team, his... his family.

And he was about to find out just where the limit lay as to what he'd do for them. But why the hell wouldn't they inform him in advance? The body needn't even to have been found in the first place! He was sure he and Abby could have done a better job at corpse disposal than just dumping it in a trash can!

“What do we have here?” Doctor Mallard asked, walking closer. “Hmm, hmm, Mr Bonham, I told you you'd come to a bad end, didn't I? Good job it is such a dreadful job, or I would seriously suspect Jethro of losing his temper.”

Dreadful job, indeed, Jimmy realised. Such a shoddy murder. MCRT would have done a better job. And warned him in advance. Right? 

Unless they were trying to cover the fact they knew how to shoot someone more efficiently?

 

2.

Abby looked at Tony from the corner of her eye. He was hovering, touching this and that in her lab, as if looking for words. Abby wasn't going to help him out by starting that conversation. She was hurt. 

The cadaver was in the morgue being autopsied right that moment. If they'd just come to her, the body would never have been found! She wouldn't need to fudge her results! And they hadn't even _warned_ her in advance!

Unless... maybe it had been a spur of the moment thing? A perfect situation served on the platter and they didn't have time to plan better? Or maybe Tony was trying to keep her out of it? It would be just like him, she decided, to try to protect the others. Awww, he totally would! She forgot her anger.

She was just about to open her mouth when Tony finally spoke.

“You don't think... one of us actually did it? I mean... “

“You mean you _didn't_ kill him?” Abby exclaimed.

“Abs! I wouldn't need three bullets to kill one man.” He actually sounded more offended by that than the inference that he'd murdered someone. Abby filed that away for another day.

“...Gibbs?” she asked hesitantly.

Tony shrugged. “He's a sniper. I doubt he'd go for short range if he needed to assassinate someone.”

No, Abby knew he wouldn't. 

“Timmy?” she tried, but answered herself. “Nah. Huh, maybe I don't need to fudge the results then.”

“You were going to do that? Abby, you shouldn't have,” Tony said, smiling, and sounding like she'd just given him chocolates. 

Abby hugged him. “For you, always,” she promised with a grin.

3.

Tim stared at the file in front of him. Three .22 bullets had hit Bonham in the back, one almost up his neck, one through his left kidney, and one just right of his spine. Shoddy work, shoddy. He'd expected better from Tony. No way had Gibbs done this – it seemed pure luck the man had died in the first place.

Then again, Tony was a better shot than this. They all were... at least, everyone in the team... Could Abby have... but no, she wouldn't have needed to shoot anyone! She knew enough tricks and had access to so many chemicals that she wouldn't ever resort to guns. 

But if his team hadn't... Oh god – someone else had murdered the poor man! Well, a bastard of a man. Holy hell, he had actually thought... God, how could he have believed that of his own team mates? His _family_?

He smiled, when a voice that sounded surprisingly much like Tony whispered in his mind, “family that slays together, stays together.”

The smile on his face was fond, probably too fond to be reading an autopsy record on someone he actually knew.

4.

Vance would never admit it, but when his MCRT showed up with an actual outside suspect for the murder of Llwellyn Bonham, and seemed to have a case that would stick in court, and a confession to boot, he was relieved. 

Not that he'd been worried. Oh no. 

He had full confidence in the fact that if his resident pain in the ass team ever did go after someone, they would know how to erase the evidence so that the deed would _never_ reach the point when it would become his headache.

5.

When Ziva returned from her vacation, she wondered why everyone in the office was making jokes about covering murders for each other.

Of course they would. They were a family, were they not? That is what families do.

 

The End


End file.
